ENIGMA 2000 Newsletter - Issue 36

September 2006
Articles, newsreports and Items of interest :enigma2000-owner@yahoogroups.com

Plonker’s progress

by “THE MARCONI ONE” with appologies to the AIRFIX 12

This Newsletter has been blighted by the holiday season and sudden callings to the four corners of the earth for at least two members of this Group. You can imagine the delight that PLondon experienced when he opened this offering from his mate. Monitoring when away is frought with problems and no much more so that the Marconi One! Read on please…….

Being a record of the wanderings of a numbers enthusiast along the Ionian Sea coast of Corfu.

This article was born out of a recent conversation between Paul and myself. During this conversation I described, amongst other things, the interest taken in my HF radio monitoring activities by a British gentleman in an adjacent apartment, during a recent holiday in Corfu. (July last.) I will describe the equipment which I use, and the attached photo will give you some idea of the rig setup. My rig is a Grundig “Yacht Boy”, which comes supplied with an optional long wire antenna in a case which has an attachment which allows reeling in of the antenna. The antenna then plugs in to the socket provided in the set. For off air recording I use a “Realistic” cassette recorder, connecting cable and Y splitter, which allows me to use headphones sand recorder simultaneously.

Here, I should explain that in Corfu, or any other Greek island QTH, I do all monitoring outside, to take full advantage of the glorious weather which is all too rare commodity here in UK. In most cases, this included, I set up on the balcony of the apartment or villa in which the memsahib and I happen to be staying at the time. I fell in love with Greeceit’s islands and people many years ago, and take every chance to visit. Corfu has always been a favourite. My wife feels the same, and asks no more than a quiet Greek beach, sun bed, umbrella, and a self loading supply of Mills and Boon books. For myself, like you like minded E2K readers, I need something a touch more stimulating. What better than a portable HF radio and our fascinating hobby? The gentleman to whom I referred in the opening paragraph was in the next apartment, and would come out every morning to see me set up and diligently monitoring. One morning shortly after our arrival, he asked in a fairly conversational tone if I was a Russian spy! Now, I am one of those people who can never resist a chance to wind people up. In an equally conversational tone, I replied, “No, East German actually”. Seeing the apparent seriousness with which he took this response, I wondered what this gentleman had between his ears, as the country of East Germany ceased to exist officially in 1990. Sadly, when I relayed this gem to my wife, she was not at all amused. She was even less so when Spy catcher Mark 2 departed the village in which we were staying some days later. (An event which I sincerely hope had nothing to do with your scribe!) Seeing the family obviously preparing to depart, I offered my services as porter. He declined, but as he left, wished me “All the best with your spying activities!” In an equally conversational tone, I replied, “Thanks awfully for that. You may have noticed I was out early this morning”. (By now it was late afternoon.) He replied that he had noticed. I had in fact got up at about 0530 to go for a good early morning walk up Pantor Krator, which is Corfu’s highest mountain, and at the foot of which, the village in which we normally stay is located. “I do like to get up on the mountain early”, I said. “One gets such a good view down from up there in to mainland Greece and Albania, and can see any interesting military aerial or naval activity”. At this, he turned and positively ran down the stairs, not an easy feat given the size of the suitcases he was carrying! And the answer is no, my wife thought this no funnier than my East German spy joke! Some people just have no sense of humour!

Our first visit to Corfu was some 20 years ago now, and we were, at that time, quite strapped for cash. Two teenage (at that time) children do that to families. Obviously, an all singing, all dancing portable HF radio with SSB capability, was as likely as clearing Beecham’s Brook on a pogo stick! Rummaging through my, at that time, quite sparse collection of radio kit, the answer hit me. (You are all, I am sure, familiar with the phrase, “You needn’t think you’re leaving THAT lot out all night!”) Anyway, she’s right. You have to see to believe the chaos two teenagers and a German Shepherd dog can cause in a room festooned with radio kit and makeshift aerials strung around the room!

There, in a corner of my storage cupboard was my home made HF radio. A black plastic project case from Maplin’s. A 36 inch telescopic aerial, a red carrying handle. A black fascia panel on which were mounted a slow motion drive for better tuning and logging, on off switch, external sockets for external aerial, (should the rod aerial not cut the mustard ) and power supply, and recorder. On top of the case, a red carrying handle. THIS, I thought, is the canine’s genitalia! What a shame that the airport security officer whom I was shortly to meet would signally fail to agree.

The airport

I will start by saying that airport security is one of, if not THE, most necessary branches of that sadly all too necessary industry. Having worked in aviation security, I know. Any company bidding for such a contract is required to provide 100% insurance liability cover in the event of a successful attack. (As in the bad guys win, you lose!) This means the aviation security companies have to employ top rate personnel, and ensure that they stay that way. For the most part, fortunately, they do. There are, however, exceptions, and I was about to meet him.

My wife and I, and other wannabe 20th Century Argonauts, deposited our luggage at the check in desk, and made our way to the security area to have our hand baggage scanned. As everyone knows, Lockerbie changed the lives of all of us for ever, as have other tragic events since. And there, in the scanning hall, I met Jobsworth. I am sure you all know the name from the Esther Rantzen shows of a few years ago, for those who do not, it describes an individual who, if he can make one’s life difficult, he will! Scanning the image on his monitor of the bag which I had just put through the scanner, he asked me to open the bag. I did. “What”, he asked, with the tone and facial expression of a Swiss Ober Street Inspector who has just found a doggie turd on his pavement “is that?” Helpfully, I replied “It’s a radio.” Sniffing, Jobsworth said “Doesn’t look like one”. Forcing back the retort “Tell me what you’d like and I’ll make you one!” I said,“Well, it is.” The conversation now developed along these lines.

Jobsworth. “It’s got no brand name.”

Me. “That’s because it’s a home brew.”

Jobsworth. “What?” (I now know that he is NOT into radio!)

He now returns to the image of my radio on his scanner. “It’s got coils and wires and thingummies in it.” I think “Dork, ALL radios do!” but smile and say “That is what all radios have. It is how they work.” He pushes the on off button. Nothing. “It doesn’t work!” I reply “No, that’s because there is no battery in it. It might interfere with the aircraft ILS (Instrument Landing System) or other on board navigation aids or radio equipment”.

Jobsworth. “What?” Great! I now have a Jobsworth security officer working at an airport who knows nothing about radios, and not much more about aircraft systems, it seems. By now, my wife has the look that says “All the idiots in all the world and I had to marry him!” And the 20 or 30 passengers who are now backed up behind us are looking as though they agree! But I am now really pissed off. “Look, it’s a radio. Want to open it? His eyes light up. (Lights on but no one at home!) “Yes,” he says. “Fine,” I say. “Lend me a screwdriver.” Like a child admitting he doesn’t know the answer, he mutters, “Haven’t got one.” I play the joker, “Nor have I, mate!” (A lie, but he doesn’t know this, and this IS post 9/11, and I have a small screwdriver set, plus spare batteries in my hand luggage). Sadly, old Eagle Eye missed that too. By now, his supervisor is becoming interested. He looks over the image of my set on the monitor, then at my set. “What’s the problem?” he asks. Jobs worth’s sigh of relief is audible. “I’m not happy with this. He says it’s a radio” he says, pointing at my pride and joy. The supervisor, who, I suspect, has had this experience with Jobsworth before, says “Looks okay to me. I’m happy with it. Pass it.”

And that, folks, is how the Marconi One and his First Lady flew off to the lovely Greek island of Corfu, and began the first of many happy holidays, and, for me at least, many happy hours of idyllic HF monitoring along the coast of the Ionian Sea. More next NL, guys!

The Marconi One

[Tnx M1 an absolute belter indeed. PLondon can vouch for the story as being 100% true]!